My Story I

 

Hello people.

I will be keeping my identity kinda discreet, (won’t be giving too sensitive details) as to aid us connecting, and me being frank and true. Fair enough?

I’ll refer to myself as…

*drumroll*

Kush.

Welcome to my blog.

I am a 16 year old brown male. (please co-operate) I am in the eleventh grade and studying humanities. (finally)

I had a pretty rough time last year. Well, until April, that is.

I was forced to take the subjects of my parents choice which eventually turned out to be a rotten idea. I was willing, wanting, waiting to choose the subjects which I’m finally studying now, but after 10th my mum insisted on me opting for physics, chemistry and biology.

I did….

… Leave alone competitive, I couldn’t do well in my regular board studies. I tried hard in physics, and but of as much use as trying to Crack open a coconut using a leaf. I won’t play the blame game, but my teachers weren’t supportive at all.

I gradually discovered I loved biology and I did actually excell in it. But I sucked in physics.

Time passed. I adopted game addictions. Started studying less. I had a feeling that nah leave it, I know I can’t do it. But this mere thought had me shaken every time I thought over it. I wasn’t that kinda boy who took these things lightly, and specially when you were performing extraordinarily well and were in the student’s council earlier. You see, things became different- New house, new school, new class.. And a class like 11th. I didn’t have much friends either. Except for Mohit. He was in Army Public School(not mine at that time) and went in the same coaching class where I did. He was also my neighbor. He gave me goals, tips, encouragements and friend talks which I craved for.

.

.

I ended up expectedly and unexpectedly.

I ruined my year.

The tag of a ‘failure’ was now designated to me.

I went into depression, developed suicidal tendencies and finally even tried to commit suicide once. I still have the suicide note I wrote. I burnt the original one though. Just saying.

I recovered. My principal and dad helped me enormously in it. I was convinced that failures happen all the time but I also had to accept that now I had to live with the fact anyway. I was studying one year earlier too so…. Yeah I was back to normal. I decided to study 11th with the subjects of my choice.

I changed my subjects, my school, my uniform….A fresh start…

I got admitted in APS. The school which was new, yet familiar. I knew many, many people from one place or the other. I was happy until I was questioned that in which section of 12th was I coming in. People started knowing my story here too. But these guys were warm. Welcoming warm, man.

The first day, Mohit sat in the bus with me… as excited as I was. He told me about my to-be class.

We entered the school and I tried to make out who could be my classmate by seeing faces.

Mohit introduced me to a girl, who he said would me my classmate. She was pretty and I thought of being confident and went in for a handshake, “HI, I’m Kush”. There were visible signs of hesitation. Oh well. I went in my class, told my class teacher (a South Indian English teacher) I was new. I sat down with a boy and with a deep breath and determination, started my year.

Time passed.

I discovered I was right thinking these subjects are the ‘one”. I loved studying them! I read them like a comic book or magazine. Economics is the bomb. I love how the framework is maintained keeping in mind the importance of this subject. The only catch was making friends. I wasn’t convinced they would 100% accept me as them. But yeah, I decided I don’t care. There weren’t many friends of my type like who I could relate and talk to anyway. The only probable ones were two girls. Imagine.

I have a history of being shy and nervous af in front of girls and here I am..

One of the two girls was the one Mohit introduced me too. I’m sure she took me as a… A… Uhhh.. Nevermind. I started talking to them. And guys around me (who were, BTW, finger-countable) things went by and we became friends.

Summer holidays came in.

The first girl(whom I’ll be referring as K now..) was the only one whom I was connected to after the holidays had started. We used to talk and fill the gap of me being a mere acquaintance.

I went to a religious festival as a part of crowd management and community aid as I was a cadet. It was AWESOME. I’ll tell you about it in on other post or upload or whatever you call it here.*no offense*

It has been four months since I started going to the new school..

I’m studying better than ever, making the healthiest friendship and finally living happy.

I have started going to a law admission coaching where, coincidently, K also comes.

So, yeah.

 

 

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9 thoughts on “My Story I”

  1. Your story resonates so much with mine. Only, I couldn’t switch streams because my parents have this very crazy notion that I am hella smart and so I can do Science. Chemistry is the worst. Biology is ok. Physics is meh. But my first love was and will always be English but they don’t seem to get that. Will definitely change after 12th.
    Stay strong 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This was not ‘wow’ because of the fact that it isn’t fiction. I’d say, it was bare, naked,truth. Something, people still consider as a stigma, something that people believe life exists in mainstream subjects only and of course, something that people belive only science can heal & reveal. Its tough to believe, but the things we love or prefer doing are the ones that others term as waste and always becomes the secondary option after the preferences of the society.

    Nevertheless, as I said earlier, this has made me proud about you. And not just me, it would make anyone proud. Knowing there is help, support and warmth out there, things take the more slower roller coaster way out.

    Good luck ahead! Stay blessed!

    Liked by 1 person

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